i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
