Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
everyone is single if you try hard enough
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
time to smoke my breakfast
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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