so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My vagina is officially offended.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
