Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
