Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
