I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sarcasm needs its own font
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
