Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
