Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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