This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
