Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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