As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
