He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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