we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
is it fun? or sober?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
