You can't motorboat a personality
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
