Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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