I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
