i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
