Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
