Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
