Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
