K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
