dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
