You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
