It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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