ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
