Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
