community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I will be naked everywhere
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
