I CAN MOONWALK!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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