suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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