got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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