Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
