Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize