I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
