Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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