This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
