maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
