Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Im part way to drunk.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
