I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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