i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
