Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Randomize
