just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
