I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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