do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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