i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
