Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize