its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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