i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize