no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
