when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
