Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
