please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
