Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
