I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
