well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
