I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
