Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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