please come you make the beer taste better
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
